Gimme that old time religion!

Gimme that old time religion! I spent some time recently doin’ some book learnin’, using my dictionary and the “Good Book,” and guess what? Turns out I’m a religious conservative! Now, I always thought I was one a them durn liberals ya hear so much about these days. But after lookin’ up a few things, I guess I’ll have to reconsider. You might wanna think on this some, too.

Guess it was all this jawin’ I’ve been listenin’ to lately, with all the politicians and talk-show folks hollerin’ about what’s “liberal,” what’s “conservative,” and what’s “Christian.”

So I got out my dictionary, and looked up “conservative.” Here’s what it says: “Disposed to preserve existing conditions, and to resist change.” Started wonderin’ if anything had changed about religion since Jesus walked the earth, so I opened up my Bible. Turned to the Four Evangelists, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, ‘cause that’s where you find the teachins’ of Christ. And I figgered, if we’re gonna be religious conservatives, and “preserve existing conditions,” we outta be preservin’ what Christ Himself told us to do, rather than what people made up on their own since then.

Ya know, Christ talked the talk in His teachins’, but He walked the walk, too. So if we wanna be good Christians, I’m sayin’ we outta do the best we can to spend our time like Christ did, talkin’ about and livin’ His example. So I read it what He said all over again, and here’s some of the things He keeps tellin’ us: Love your enemies. Take care of those who can’t care for themselves. Accept everybody – drunks, thieves, prostitutes, lepers, the mentally ill – everybody. Treat women as equals. Give to anyone who asks you for something, and if they ask you to walk a mile with ‘em, walk two. Bless those peacemakers, don’t insult ‘em. Bless those who are hated by so-called “Christians,” who don’t seem to understand that Christ loves each and every one of us.

So I figure us “religious conservatives,” who don’t like change, outta spend most of our time, just like Christ did, on these very same things! But that got me thinkin’ about all these new-fangled, so-called “Christian values,” like the “prosperity gospel.” That’s one a them things some folks with lots of money made up, meanin’ it’s OK to get filthy rich – it just means God loves you best. Or goin’ to war and usin’ His name as an excuse for killin’ people. Or hatin’ people who are different, like gays and lesbians. Or throwin’ people outta the church ‘cause they don’t believe everything church leaders tell ‘em. So I looked back through my Bible again, and you know what? I can’t find a single example of Christ even talkin’ about those things, much less doin’ ‘em.

That got me to wonderin’ who thinks up all this crazy stuff! Seems like they’re trying to turn Christ’s words upside down and inside out, sorta just makin’ things up as they go along. You know how some a them folks are – just doin’ whatever they please, and usin’ Jesus as an excuse for things that’d surely make Him weep. Now I did find one or two things you hear about a lot these days that Christ did say somethin’ about. Public prayer for one thing, like some a them radicals are tryin’ to put in our schools. Problem is, Christ was definitely agin’ it! Here’s exactly what He said: "And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by men. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” You can look it up yourself – Matthew 6:5,6.

And all them religious leaders, always tellin’ us about the rules, always harpin’ on “do this, and don’t do that.” Well, Christ had somethin’ to say there, too, but He didn’t seem to be on their side. In fact, He always spoke pretty harsh to religious leaders, tellin’ ‘em they were defilin’ the temple with money, that you can’t serve money and God at the same time, and that they were spendin’ way too much time enforcin’ rules, and not enough time on justice and mercy and faith. You can look that up, too - it’s all right there in the Gospels.

So I’m givin’ up on all a them modern so-called “Christian values” that somebody made up to bash other people, or to get more money or power, or to get themselves off the hook, or to avoid bein’ accountable for their own actions. Ya know, it’s all about us Christians takin’ personal responsibility, stickin’ with the Truth as Christ told it to us 2,000 years ago. It sure ain’t about us usin’ His name to do whatever we dang well please. It’s all about peace, not war. Lovin’ our enemies, not hatin’ em. Includin’ people, not excludin’ ‘em. Helpin’ the poor, not the rich. Makin’ sure we do right by those who are sick and in prison. Lettin’ everyone into the big tent, and makin’ sure they all feel welcome.

So let’s all us religious conservatives sing it together. I wanna hear ya singin’ all the way back there in the cheap seats! “Gimme that old time religion, gimme that old time religion! It was good enough for Jesus – it’s good enough for me!”